Tom Brown is your typical wise-cracking, arrogant college freshman who newly arrived on the Harvard campus. He thinks he knows women, but his lovemaking technique leaves something to be desired. Tom becomes fixated on Mary Abbott, an old-fashioned girl who grew up around Harvard and has heard every pick-up line in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. But Mary is interested in Bob McAndrews, a grade-A student who also plays for the college football team. In an attempt to show up his rival, Tom goes out for football but falls on his face more often than impressing his crush. With a crucial match against Yale approaching, Tom must learn the value of teamwork and cooperation to help Harvard win the game even if he doesn't take home the glory or Mary.